Without You
by Midori Sakura
Summary: Haruhi stared at the closed door, half expecting him to pop back inside and apologize for yelling at his precious chief like that. She waited for a minute with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face, but Kyon never came. HaruKyon.


I'll be brief! Sorry about the slight OOCness of the characters. I don't really write much fanfiction, and the complexity of the MoHS characters makes it even more difficult to pin their personalities down. I tried, haha.

**Haruhi x Kyon** all the way.

**Situation:** Kyon finally gets fed up of Haruhi's attitude and abruptly leaves the clubroom one day. This is basically Haruhi's reaction to his departure.

* * *

Kyon slammed the door behind him, leaving the rest of the brigade in shock. Haruhi stared at the closed door, half expecting him to pop back inside and apologize for yelling at his precious chief like that. She waited for a minute with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face, but Kyon never came. Silently, she made her way to her spot behind the computer desk and with a huff, plopped into the chair.

Neither Nagato nor Mikuru, or even Itsuki for that matter dared to utter a word. For Haruhi, however, Kyon's words seemed to bother her in a way she didn't understand. They seemed to replay over and over in her mind and she felt a knot in the pit of her stomach.

Was she really too selfish and cruel to her fellow brigade members, her friends? Did she really act in such a way that made everyone hate her?

..Did Kyon hate her too?

She didn't feel good at all.

As she glared at Kyon's vacant chair, her vision became blurry and it was then that she noticed she was crying. Haruhi swiped at her eyes angrily, for she despised crying more than anything, and it would do much harm to her image as a strong and perfectly capable girl. She prayed that her subordinates were too preoccupied to notice her tears.

---

That evening was one of the worst Haruhi had ever been through. She couldn't even get to sleep, and there was a particularly heavy feeling in her heart which kept her up for most of the night. She secretly hoped that Kyon, when he arrived at school in the morning, would start up a normal conversation with her like he usually did. She even made sure that she got to school extra early. Though Haruhi would never admit it to anyone, she wished that fight between the two of them had never taken place.

Kyon arrived on time but went directly to his seat without saying a word. Haruhi waited for a few more minutes, all the while trying to say something to him but not being able to. The bell rang, signifying the beginning of class, yet Kyon didn't even acknowledge that she was there behind him.

Now she was worried.

---

It had been three whole days and Kyon still hadn't returned to the clubroom after school.

Koizumi entered the clubroom to find Nagato reading a book and Mikuru sitting at the table, occasionally giving a nervous glance toward Haruhi, who sat in her chair facing the window. He, being an esper and all, knew exactly how Haruhi was feeling, and he had to sympathize with her. Every day she would wait there after school, hoping that Kyon would return to the brigade room, only to be disappointed when he didn't show up.

Yesterday was especially hard because the silence of the room was broken by the door creaking open. Haruhi picked up her head and looked to the door a little too eagerly, only to find a lost first year student on his way to the art club. After that, she sighed and went back to sulking at her desk.

Two more days of melancholy passed, Haruhi growing glummer and glummer each day. Mikuru fidgeted in her seat as she watched the brigade chief lower her head onto her arms on the table.

After what seemed like an eternity, Haruhi spoke.

"Ne, Koizumi?"

"Yes, Suzumiya-san?" he replied, still grinning like he always was. His smile immediately faded when he saw her pained expression, hurt and frustration in her shiny, topaz eyes.  
Tears were forming tiny pools in Haruhi's eyes, but she was visibly doing her best to mask her sadness with anger and a dismissive attitude.

"I don't really care if he comes back here again, you know," she told him. "I don't even know why I've been wasting my time here waiting for that stupid idiot!"

The tears fell and Haruhi let out a strangled sob before dropping her face into her arms on her desk. Mikuru's worried expression softened into one of concern. Nagato even looked up from the book she was reading and there was the slightest change in her stoic face.

Koizumi risked being kicked out of the clubroom by approaching Haruhi and placing a comforting, understanding hand on her shoulder. She tensed up but didn't shrug him away.

"I hate him! I hate that stupid Kyon!" she cried. Sitting up, Haruhi shook out her hair that had become matted to her face due to her crying, and then furiously swiped at her eyes with her sleeves.

Mikuru got up slowly from her seat and came over to Itsuki and the sniffling Haruhi.

"Ano...Suzumiya-san?" Haruhi turned to face Asahina-san with watery eyes. "I don't think—I mean, I'm pretty sure that Kyon-kun didn't mean the things he said. He's a good person at heart..."

Koizumi added, "That's right, Kyon may not be able to control himself at times, but I know he cares about you."

Seemingly calmer, Haruhi swallowed and wiped the remnants of her tears off her face. It was obvious that she was composing herself again to her usual personality, and just realized that not one, but three of her brigade members witnessed her emotional side.

"Well then! That's it for today," she announced, turning her back to them. Then in a softer voice, "Dismissed."

The three of them gathered their things and said their goodbyes, walking out of the clubroom in a line. Haruhi decided to stay back for a while, and before he closed the door behind him, Koizumi paused and faced her.

"Don't worry, Suzumiya-san, we all miss him as well."

With that, he left, leaving Haruhi in the clubroom to sort out her thoughts.

---

Koizumi found Kyon in the classroom during lunch, eating and chatting idly with Taniguchi and Kunikida.

"Do you have a minute?" he asked, grinning as usual.

Kyon stared at him. "Sure."

Once outside the classroom, Kyon followed Koizumi out to the roof of the school where he began to make small talk with him. Seeing that they were getting nowhere, Kyon interrupted, signaling Itsuki to get down to business.

"Kyon, when are you returning to the clubroom?"

Silence.

He continued, "It seems as if Suzumiya-san, though we all were affected by it, has taken your departure from the SOS Brigade the hardest."

"What? Are closed spaces appearing out of control or something? I don't think I'm the right person to help you with your problems. I left the club because I couldn't stand being Haruhi's whipping boy any longer," Kyon explained.

Koizumi shook his head, "Actually, Suzumiya-san is pretty depressed over the matter. She waits out for you every day, by the window, you know. It's just in case you return, even if she doesn't want to admit it."

"She's probably just bored and wants me to return so she can torture me some more."

Koizumi sighed. "Even if you say that, it doesn't change the fact that she wants you to come back. Suzumiya-san is more frustrated with herself than anybody else right now," he paused and gave a sad smile. "Her mind is deeply troubled and even had been brought to tears because of what's been going on.

"Suzumiya-san has undoubtedly cried more than once since that day. I have only witnessed these acts once after you abruptly left the clubroom, the other just a few moments ago."

Even now, Koizumi had a smile on his face.

At the word tears, Kyon's expression turned to one of guilt. "Haruhi crying? There's no way."

"Suzumiya-san isn't one to cry, especially in public, but I suppose it was too much for her to deal with all at once. So please, take that into consideration. She cares for you the most out of the four of her brigade members, and to wait out for somebody every day only to be disappointed when they don't come is particularly difficult."

Kyon sighed, replaying those words in his head. He still couldn't imagine Haruhi in tears, but something in Itsuki's speech made him believe it. He felt horrible, he never intended Haruhi to be this upset; he never imagined it was possible. She was too audacious for anything like this to happen.

Itsuki stood and began to walk off. "I myself wish to see you in the clubroom again."

---

During lunch break, Haruhi found herself sitting against the trunk of a tree on the school property. It was the same tree that Kyon had found her under earlier in the year. She convinced herself that she wasn't just sitting here because she wanted him to find her or anything. she just thought that it would be a little peaceful...

A tear slid slowly down her cheek.

No, Kyon wouldn't find her here. She brought her knees up to her chest and rested her head in them. He wasn't ever coming back, was he?

Haruhi didn't even understand why she even cared about Kyon in the first place, let alone cry over something like this. Biting her lip, she swiped at her eyes with her sleeve and shook out her hair.

Taking a moment to compose herself, she got to her feet and walked straight to the brigade room. She couldn't mope around all day for that idiot Kyon. She had to at least plan activities for what remained of it. She was still the chief, after all.

---

The next day, Haruhi was working on some plans for what was left for the brigade when the door opened. Haruhi was too used to being disappointed and didn't even look up from the computer.

Asahina dropped the tray of tea that she was serving. Nagato looked up from her book. Koizumi smiled when Haruhi looked to the door and stood up abruptly. Her eyes widened and her jaw hung agape. A closer look showed that she was trembling. Kyon and Haruhi stared at each other and the other three left the room so they could be alone.

It was a few moments before either of them said anything.

The silence was broken by the scuffling of rubber against linoleum as Kyon took a step closer to her, minimizing the amount of space between them.

"K-Kyon... I-" Haruhi was stuttering and couldn't quite get the words out. Her face reddened and she avoided eye contact. All the hurt that she had suffered through bubbled to the surface and Haruhi's eyes glistened with fresh tears.

She frowned and tried to stare at him with an angry gaze but failed miserably and had to avert her eyes to her shoes.

"How could you abandon your brigade like that?" she demanded, only her voice lacked its usual energy. "You're an idiot...failing to follow through with your responsibilities in this club..."  
Haruhi trailed off and became silent. Kyon had no clue as to what he was going to say right now.

He might as well start with apologizing, he thought.

"Kyon, do you hate me?"

Kyon was taken aback. The girl in front of him actually looked scared—afraid of his answer. The Haruhi he knew would never be this timid normally; he must have really screwed up. He pondered her question for a moment.

Did he hate Haruhi? No, of course not. He might be tired of the things she did, or the things she made him do, but he could never hate her.

Haruhi must have taken his silence the wrong way because she, much to his dismay, started to cry.

"What I said...before... I didn't mean it..."

She slumped down into her chair, sniffling and wiping her eyes. Kyon sighed and brought a chair from the table over to her, sitting directly across from her.

The brigade chief currently looked so broken, so fragile, that it broke Kyon's heart to hear the cries that escaped her lips. Normally, Haruhi would never let anyone see her vulnerable side, yet here she was, shuddering with each gasp for air, mumbling under her breath between each sob.

Speaking softly and staring into her glassy eyes he spoke, "Look, Haruhi, I don't hate you. What happened the other day might have been an overreaction on my part, and I'm sorry that my words hurt you."

Haruhi caught his choice of words without error. "But you're not sorry you said them."

"Well, somewhat." Kyon took Haruhi's hands in his, and he thought he saw her face turn a darker shade of pink. "Haruhi, I really do care about you and the brigade, but it's also true that sometimes you can get carried away."

She looked as if she was about to protest but held herself back. Gulping, she peered at his face. It was sincere, promising that this was, in fact, the truth. Haruhi rubbed the tears out of her eyes regretfully, as this action caused her to let go of Kyon.

"I guess that the brigade leader should be more aware of her subordinates, so," she muttered, "... I'm sorry."

To Kyon, the fact that Haruhi was apologizing was beyond him. However, he continued anyways.

"I'm sorry too," he told her, "for disappointing you."

Haruhi stood up, pride and all, chest swelling with hope. "Then, you'll come back to the clubroom, right?"

Kyon couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm. "I think so."

Haruhi held out her hand for Kyon to shake. "I'll be expecting you to fulfill your club duties tomorrow, Kyon!"

Instead of taking her hand, he stood up and pulled her into a hug. He was surprised by his own actions, but it seemed to all make sense when he felt her embrace him back. She was stiff as a board at first but after a moment, Kyon sensed her arms wrap cautiously around his waist.

All was well.

* * *

Review if you want to. Constructive criticism (not flaming) is appreciated!


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